First internet service since we left Tulsa, OK. I luckily have accessed (hi-jacked more likely) a WiFi signal in the area but I'm not sure how long it will last. Just wanted to update everyone on mommy's (Shirley Ber's) progress.
When we arrived this past Saturday she was trying to talk and visit with us but it was a real struggle for her. She isn't getting enough air into her lungs despite being on a steady flow of oxygen. She continues to retain the fluid on her lungs. She was not on morphine when we arrived and Terrence told us hospice had not started her on it yet. He felt that it would be better if they put that off as long as possible. They were giving her something to keep her relaxed so that she could breathe a little easier. She is very weak from struggling so hard to breathe. She was eating a few bites food at mealtime, but each day it gets harder and harder for her.
I must say that her appearance took us by surprise. We had last seen her about 4 months back and seeing her today ... well let me just say she is a whisper of herself as she has lost so much weight that I barely recognized her. I think it was extremely hard for Loren to see her like that.
On Monday evening they started her on the morphine and when we saw her last night (Tuesday) she looked very bad. She isn't talking much at all now nor does she have any desire for food. She was only able to take about three or four shallow spoons of broth I offered to her from the chicken noodle soup, the chicken was too much for her as she has no strength to chew. I then offered her three extremely small tastes of ice cream and she was done. She is also not taking in liquids. It is very hard to see her like this.
Of course we are continuing to pray for her, but I feel as if we should be praying for her to have a peaceful transition into glory. I have not mentioned this to Loren or the brothers, but when I asked her what she had been thinking about when she is alone, what was going through her mind, she simply said she was recounting their lives together, all the fun they had had growing up, which to me sounds as if she is reconciled to going on home. She is more or less reviewing her life and not making plans for the future.
None of us want to let her go, especially her boys, but I feel it is selfish to keep her here and make her suffer much longer. Ultimately it is all in God's Hands, as He is so faithful and loves us so much. Thank you for your continued prayers and love and support.